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BeFORe CATS eAT MY FACe, is a collection of thinly-veiled microfiction, completing the novel eXCUSe Me MY PAReNTS ARe HIPPIeS. The hilarious, voyeuristic and highly addictive story of Emma Hill’ey, the product of Australian rock Royalty, Hippy Lawyers, and small-town NSW, discovers her boyfriend Jude, of four years, got another woman pregnant. After moving back home with her hilariously dysfunctional mother, Emma begins a journey of brutally honest self-reflection and mostly bad-sex, as she explores her life after Jude, among the undeserving elite.

BeFORe CATS eAT MY FACe is written by Australian humour blogger Little`e Healey.

Join thousands of others who are becoming hopelessly addicted.

‘It has taken me an entire day to read this, but it was SO worth it. I was hooked’ K.H
‘I can not wait to read more’ ~ C.B
‘Started this last night and am hooked, I have been laughing out loud. A LOT’~ I.S
`It is not enough, I am greedy and a little bit tortured by it!’~ B.E
I just read this chapter on the train, OMFG it is hilarious‘ `S.P
‘Now I want a Karma Kombi’ ~K.A

-ReAD BOOK ONe-


Emma Hill`ey has just disyoudoodle-2018-02-25T22-32-22Z (1)covered her boyfriend of four years, has gotten another woman pregnant.
Daughter of Australian rock-royalty Lloyd Nill Hill & patchouli scented development lawyer, Helena Crawley, Emma finds her unconventional and sheltered upbringing, in a small shire of NSW, leaves her completely unprepared for this kind of betrayal. Emma is forced to move back home with her now divorced, amusingly- bitter mother, and begins to cross the fine line between rockstar’s daughter, and hot-mess. In this collection of hilarious self-reflection, is the examination and importance of friendships, family dynamics & mostly really-bad sex.
Emma’s brutally honest, hilarious and sometimes devastating journey is devilishly addictive, and you will find yourself unable to put it down until you share every delicious drop as she picks through well-known musicians, caravan-park trash, and her life.
The Dick In The Teacup is part one of five, in the Excuse Me. My Parents Are Hippies series, written by one of Australia’s most well-established humour bloggers, Little`e Healey.

cropped-cropped-20180121_165911ABOUT LITTLE`e HEALEY

Emma ‘Little`e’ Healey, is an Australian humour blogger, podcast producer, crocheter of penis’s & social media weenie.
If you would like to learn more about Emma, you can do so here.
-Formerly of Emma’s Brain Blogs & The toilet spray ad-
THeSe WORDS MAY eXPLAIN A LITTLe BeTTeR.


 

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         .BOOK TWO.
.THe BAD MARRIAGe.

I sent Mathew the first part of this book ages ago, in return, I received a photo.
I can’t show you, because it is him, reading what I assume is the naughty bit, but on the other side of the picture, he wrote; 
I’m sorry your parents are hippies. xx
I haven’t heard from him since.
This is near here, nor there for this part of the story, I just thought you may like to know.
The next bit, however, starts once again back at my mother’s place. About three months after we left off … Now I have to tell you about Nathan.


 

 

 


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